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Red Light /Green Light Scribble Activity

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 17:15:52 -0400

This activity was adapted from Winnicott's Scribble Game to an activity that has been a highlight of my practice for many children and professionals. I do this scribble drawing as a part of my initial assessment with the entire family.

Goals:
1) Improve impulse control and ability to self-regulate
2) Increase listening skills, attunement, and focus
3) Improve eye contact and ability to make connections
4) Promotes flexibility and collaboration skills

Description
Part 1: The first part of the activity is Winnicott’s Interactive Scribble Game. Each person picks a marker and one person does a scribble on a large piece of paper. Then, the next person connects to that scribble and they continue to make connections.

Part 2 : The group leader says, “ This is too easy so we are going to make it harder” and the paper is turned over. The group leader says,“ Who knows the game Red Light/ Green Light?” The game of connecting scribbles is the same but the person cannot go until the person next to them says “Green light.” They have to keep scribbling until the "police officer " says “Red light.” If they start before the green light or keep going through the red light, the leader says, "Be careful not to get a speeding ticket.” Once you have done a few rounds, switch directions. You have siblings who will quickly say "red light/ green light " in one breath, so the child is unable to do a scribble. Then there is the child (or adult) who will not say "red light" and the person's scribble goes on and on. Some kids will also add yellow light and pick a color that represents a fast scribble.

Part 3: If there is time, the family can decorate it and even make a story. At the end, everyone signs the drawing which give them a sense of importance and accomplishment. I ask if they want to take it home and it becomes a nice transitional object for them to leave the playroom with. The children are proud of their picture and they are encouraged to do this activity again at home as a family.

Discussion
There are so many benefits of this activity, from learning how to work together, to taking turns, to slowing down. It is important to note the clients or family members who need help connecting their scribble. Kids love being the police officer. Some parents have difficulty stopping and listening to the child's commands in the game. It is diagnostic to see how each person interacts when they are in control. You can assess from this activity the dynamics of control, collaboration, and regulation. Many impulsive children go so slow because they are afraid to get a traffic ticket. They are aware of their difficulty with regulation and “drive” with caution.

Perfect activity to do when at a restaurant and at home. Creative activities that are mutually inclusive of all family members create less conflict, more cohesion and most importantly, more FUN!!

Anger Balloons

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 16:30:12 -0400

The Anger Balloon activity is one of my favorites. Using creative techniques and metaphors help children to understand their feelings at an age appropriate level. When a balloon pops, it can be scary, loud and unpredictable. By slowly and safely letting the air out, you are in complete control. This activity helps children be in control of their feelings and it is a great way to help them self regulate. Everyone enjoys this activity, because we can all relate to things getting out of control. I encourage several deep breaths as the air is slowly being let out. Deep breathing helps to eliminate stress and anxiety. Children and adults who practice deep breathing become less reactive and more relaxed at times of stress. Some younger children may have difficulty blowing up a balloon, so you may want to blow it up for them. Children of all ages can practice letting the air out. Remember, this activity is best when done together with your child. See who can be the last to let all the air out! The slower, the better!

Power Struggles: The Battle of Wills

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 21:52:54 -0400

Power struggles are exhausting for parents and children The parent and child in the midst of these battles have no intention of losing. The push/pull gets more intense and the solution becomes unattainable. We all know that the more we push, the more our children will “pull” but we can’t seem to help it. We also know that a child can only push so far before we loose it. We have either lost control, said something we regretted or gave in. Yikes, all that work and this is the outcome? We may think “They need to know I’m boss” or “I’m not going to let a kid take over.” So, what happens?... I’ll tell you what happens, you end up with a raging child who has taken over and feels misunderstood and has no control over anything. You may sometimes even be fearful of your child and not want to agitate him/her. A child who takes over the house often feels like his/her life is out of control. It is the parents job to provide safety, structure, and guidance. How can a child feel safe when they know their parents can not control them? Sounds simple enough, right? We know it is FAR less simple and it is not just the child feeling out of control, it is the parents and everyone else who feels powerless to control these strong-willed behaviors.

It is time to start reframing your approach to parenting (not an easy task). Battle of wills are when it is “My way or no way” approach and there is no problem-solving or validation of feelings. Children come to my office because they want to be heard and parents desperately seek to understand what their child is expressing.

Here are some things to consider:

1) Child-centered does not mean you are giving in, it means you are willing to listen and speak the language of your child. You and your child speak a different language and their language is play. Toys are their words, so get on the floor, get out the toys, markers and paper and start communicating.

1) Sensory Sensitivities: If you notice that power struggles are around brushing teeth, getting dressed and eating, there may be other sensory factors to consider which is making them meltdown. Even if your child does not have these sensitives, these are parent led requests. No child wants to eat their broccoli or brush their teeth. Here are some suggestions: Make it fun and be creative. Have family all brush together, play “Simon Says” or “Mother May I”, use a timer and beat the clock. When using the timer , you can play too and see how fast you can get ready. Make it a game. Invite the child to come up with creative solutions. I’m amazed at how creative children can be and if it is their idea, you will get more compliance. The sillier and more playful, the better. One of my clients and her sister came up with the silly bedtime dance, where they sang a song, cha-cha to the bathroom and a cha cha to the bedroom.

1) Inflexibility and difficulty with transitions is common in children. Again, these are adult-directed and children may shut down, run away or explode. A colleague of mine, Michael Fogel, founder of The Art of Friendship Program introduced me to the Oak Tree and Palm Tree analogy. I love this and use it with my children and the families I work with. The oak tree is strong and inflexible. Have your child stand up and ask them to be as strong as an oak tree. You try to push them over, but you can’t. If you push too hard, they may “Snap.” Now ask your child to be a palm tree, swaying back in forth in the wind. The palm tree is flexible and can survive the largest of storms. It may look weak, but it is really strong. “Be a palm tree” is an expression that is used often in my household.

4) Push/ Pull Game: This is another one of my favorite activities that is a Theraplay technique which is relationship and attachment based. It may seem silly but the children love it. The physical act of them pushing you away and then pulling you back into them becomes a powerful metaphor of your power struggles and the children LOVE it. After arguments, children may come down and give that hug once they have settled down. Touch is an important part of parenting and provides a sense of safety and connection. How many of your children, come to you for a big hug once they have recovered from their meltdown. Below is a video showing the “Push me over-pull me up” technique.

Diamonds as a Metaphor of Seeing the Strengths in Others

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 09:06:31 -0400

Metaphors and story telling are a wonderful way to bring about introspection and reflection. In the world of play therapy, children’s metaphors and stories have significant meaning to facilitate the healing process. The other day, Dr. Bruce Miller, one of the directors here at The Center for Psychological Services shared a story that has been helpful in looking at how we perceive others. Dr. Miller always has inspirational light-hearted stories to share, so I thought I’d pass it on. He tells a story of a jeweler. One jeweler spends time with his costumer pointing out the black spots and explaining why they are in the diamond. Later in life, he runs into another jeweler who stated that he never points out the diamond’s flaws. His reason was, “If you point out the black spots in the diamond, that is all they will ever see.” The beauty of the diamond becomes lost in this one imperfection. By taking in the true beauty of this resilient gem, we can see the whole self without a focus on weakness. We often fall into the trap of focusing on the negative behaviors with an intention to create positive change. Change comes from within when we empower others by celebrating their strengths and providing the tools to build resilience. According to Salvador Minuchin, “If you are a diagnostic center than you are interested in pathology. If you are a change center, you are interested in strengths.” So, before you focus on the flaws of your children, embrace them as the precious gem they truly are!

All Dogs Have ADHD

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 21:21:14 -0400

All Dogs Have ADHD by Kathy Hoopmann is one of my favorite books to introduce ADHD to children. This book celebrates the strengths of ADHD with humor and heart. The children in my office fall in love with the pictures of the dogs and say, “That’s just like me.” They bond with these dogs and understand in child language why they behave the way they do. I highly recommend this book to teachers and guidance counselors. The sentences are simple and easy to read. I also recommend Kathy Hoopmann’s All Cats Have Aspergers. There are certain books that sit on the shelf to collect dusk, but not these books. I have them out in my office and the children go straight to them. It is hard not to be drawn to these adorable animals showing that ADDers and Aspies are lovable cuties with a uniqueness that is admired and embraced.